So it's been a while since I wrote anything. I was reminded of this yesterday when one of my followers asked me if I was going to write again soon. It's kind of weird getting a message like that because I wasn't really under the impression that my blog was ever missed. I guess like Dutch soccer though, I have an extremely small but very dedicated fanbase (more on that later).
For today's post I thought I would try a new approach. I'm just going to put up headlines (or make up headlines about things that have happened) and then comment on them. These are not necessarily in chronological order.. just the order that I decide to write about them in. I'll try to cover lots of things so try to keep up.
U.S. loses to Ghana, American World Cup dreams shattered:
Really? Why was losing to Ghana a surprise to anyone? I'm all for going out to bars and rooting for my country, and I was just as happy to see team USA do "well" as the next guy, but any team that considers getting through the group stage to be a huge accomplishment (especially when two of the other teams are Algeria and Slovenia) really shouldn't be that disappointed when it's sent home.
Foxconn increases salaries for workers at its factories and installs "safety nets" to prevent more suicides:
Foxconn is the largest (or one of the largest, but I'm pretty sure it's the largest) producer of electronics in China - they make the iPod and iPhone, among other things. The company has been hit with a string of suicides now in the double digits - you know, because you would kill yourself too if your job was to put together a 1/16th of a MacBook Pro for 23.5 hours a day for minimal pay and benefits. Foxconn has responded by increasing the salary of its workers from $0.005 to $0.0055 per day and forcing its employees to sign a no-suicide contract as part of their employment offers. They've also installed safety nets between their own buildings to catch jumpers (who by the way still have 3/4 sides of the buildings to jump off).
Okay most of the numbers in there are made up and Foxconn didn't actually do the suicide contract thing (although they actually did consider it) but it's still pretty bad. Also I think it's pretty funny that Foxconn installed "safety nets" because seriously who would look down from the top of the building, see a net, and then throw themselves down anyway?? The nets are NEON ORANGE. You can't miss them. Besides we all know that this is pointless because Foxconn workers are shot if they step away from the assembly line anyway.
Luis Suarez is a total douchebag:
Okay that's not really a headline, more of a personal opinion. Unfortunately his handball proved to the world that sportsmanship knows no floor, and that FIFA needs to either:
1) Implement a punishment system for players who are consistent douchebags - if you commit an intentional handball in the box, for example, you are banned from playing for a given amount of time both at the club and international level.
2) Implement a goaltending rule: Suarez did what any other player would have done, because in that situation the player has absolutely nothing to lose. If the goal had gone in Uruguay would have been eliminated so Suarez could only improve his team's chances of advancing with a goaltend. A goaltending rule would ensure that close games end fairly and without cheating (or fairly, despite cheating).
Sure Ghana was granted a penalty and missed it. But they shouldn't even have to shoot a penalty (which statistically has an 84% of going in during regular time play at the World Cup) when they had already made a great header with a 100% chance of going in (according to principles set forth by a certain Isaac Newton). The fact that Ghana was cheated out of a spot in the semi-finals in front of billions of people, especially with the whole Africa thing (come on....), is unacceptable, FIFA. The African-American in me is crying sympathy tears. On the inside.
Paul the Psychic Cephalopod's Streak Survives Spain Securely:
There's not much to the story so I thought I would make the headline fun. Paul the psychic octopus (from western Germany, not to be confused with West Germany) has predicted with 100% accuracy every Germany game this world cup. That's amazing! Let's see if he can correctly predict the winner of the third place game this Saturday.
Also, if he is not too tired, and still hungry (I'm not kidding) he will have a shot at predicting the winner of the Spain/Netherlands game. Personally, I think that's out of his area of expertise and he should stick to Germany games. I fear the outcome may be similar to when Chris Cornell made a solo album with Timbaland and it SUCKED MAJORLY.
Dutch fans are insane/a reporter is retarded:
I heard yesterday on TV that some of them DROVE to South Africa. Either these are the world's best fans or one reporter is now the laughing stock of a few billion people. Here's a map with three possible routes. The red and blue routes are the most probable routes. There are ferries at each of the water crossings. The green route is the most direct, and is probably the one James Bond would have chosen in his trusty Lotus Esprit.
Lindsay Lohan fails to attend her alcohol management meetings (again) and is sent to jail (again):
Aha! That explains it! I'm finally glad that someone in Hollywood is being treated kind of remotely like a regular person. If I had god-knows-how-many DUIs, I would not go to rehab, I would go straight to jail, and I would not collect $200.
Actually, I, would probably go to Guantanamo...
Mo out.
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