Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A few mildly amusing observations by a New Yorker (not all New York specific)















1) Who follows up with people who are paid to hand out flyers on the street - you know, to make sure that they're actually handing out flyers and not just throwing them in the garbage and taking the rest of the day off. Do they ask them: "Hey John, how many did you give out today? Did they seem interested?" Do they check the nearest trash bins on either side for big stacks of flyers? How about the sidewalk?

And while I'm on the topic of handing out flyers on the street, I have some very good advice for anyone whose job that is: if you're handing out flyers, at least tell passers-by what your flyers are about, in the rare case that they are interested in acai berries, or a comedy club, or whatever... you can't force someone to take a flyer, and unless they're actually interested in the subject matter, no one will want to take a flyer.

If you're being handed out flyers, you don't want to feel that the flyer person is saying: "Hey, you throw this shit away..." (as Mitch Hedberg brilliantly put it)

2) If you've never seen people from New York react to someone telling them that they're into metal (music), then you're in for a treat. Here's a play by play:

-Question is asked: "So what kind of music are you into?"
-Person attempt not to delay the answer as much as possible in order to avoid having to answer the question: "Yeah, I'm a big music guy, you know, I listen to a lot of different kinds of music...mostly rock and stuff like that."
-Inquisitive New Yorker is obviously not satisfied with this response: "What kind of rock music?"
-Same reaction, but only this time person being questioned has a lot less rope to hold on by: "Well you know... I listen to a lot of harder stuff, like.. you know, heavy metal (INTERUPTED)"
-New Yorker: "Oh.........."
-Slowly nods and then kind of stops with their head still tilted up a little
-Ever so discretely rolls eyes
-Slowly tries to disintegrate themselves from the conversation with said metalhead...

Such is the curse of a metalhead.

3) New York is known for having lots of good restaurants. It's also known for having lots of terrible street food carts. These are basically metal boxes with wheels and a grill that are rolled out every morning and gathered every night (some stay open 24 hours). There are also little trucks, similar to ice cream trucks, that serve food. These can actually move on their own (because they are trucks) and usually provide higher quality food.

I tried in my mind to imagine what a graph of "food quality vs restaurant mobility" would look like, but failed miserably. Here's how this breaks down. Ideally, you don't want your restaurant to be mobile. However, if they are mobile, then usually the more mobile the restaurant, the better the food quality.

Needless to say, it's a very dumb looking graph, if you've figured it out by now.

4) If there is a major sporting event that you want to see, avoid sports bars that mix HD and non HD TVs. This may seem a little odd, but let me explain. Typically these kinds of places have a few, small, non-HD TVs hanging over the bar, and a few larger HD TVs hanging in the corners for people sitting down to watch. Their goal is to try and make the game as visible as possible (and who can blame them). However, HD TV typically lags standard definition television by 2-3 seconds... meaning that when you're watching the World Cup finals on the big TV, you hear people's reactions to every play before it happens because invariably SOMEONE is watching the small TV.

THIS FORCES EVERYONE IN THE BAR TO WATCH THE TWO SMALLEST TVs IN THE PLACE!!!! EPIC FAIL!!!!!

(Sorry, this last one was very frustrating)

Mo out.

PS

5) Since I started blogging (in Internet Explorer, which doesn't have any spell checking like Firefox), my spelling has gotten much better! I typed this whole piece without a single typo. My grammar, however, is questionable.

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