Monday, April 19, 2010

The dumbest anything I have ever seen anywhere, of all time. Period. Full stop. I honestly can't make this shit up...


A social networking garment. This is how the maker of Ping describes their product. Don't you want to just stop right there, and gouge both your own eyes out with a stale baguette? (it's a joke, the designer is of French descent).

It's supposed to be fashionable, but to me it looks like the model in the picture is going for the "sexy Emperor Palpatine" look.... perhaps fitting on Halloween as a joke, but of questionable taste for everyday use.

This garment's gimmick is that it responds to different gestures by updating your social networking profiles. If you put on the hood, or undo the strap, it posts different messages on your Facebook, for example. While the attempt at making something cool is appreciated, the stupidity and lack of practicality with which it is executed is enough to earn it the title of "dumbest anything I have ever seen anywhere, of all time." So does zipping up post on your Facebook that "Samantha is cold"? When you take the hood off, does twitter say "it has stopped raining"? How is that something that anyone needs to know?? If someone wants to know about the weather and they are sitting at a computer, they can just check and find out. If you are cold, then zipping up your hoodie seems to address the problem. The only way I could see this being useful is if you only wear this one piece of clothing and work or hang out in an area where you're friends with the maintenance/building guys. You tie up your best or whatever and they notice that and turn on the heat for you. And that's like, seriously pushing it.

Can we just drop the whole social networking thing already? What's the point of this? So that you put your hood on and then Facebook says "Jenny has put her hood on" and then Liz can say "omg that hood is so cute" and then Caitlin can say "omgggg I just got back from Vermont, bbm me" and then Josh can pretend like he cares and "like" the status because he secretly wants to screw Jenny? (that was actually a question...)

It's not like that garment really needs much social networking integration anyway. If the girl in the picture is any indication of the type of women who'll be buying this product, then all they need to do is walk into a bar and they'll find plenty of men willing to network socially with them face-to-face, sans 3G.

I'm sorry but I will have to end this post early, because it seems we have hit critical stupidity with this product. Let me explain. As something is more and more stupid, my ability to be funny and make fun of it increases... until critical stupidity is reached. Once a product reaches critical stupidity, I become so frustrated with the stupidity that it consumes me and turns me into a raging hater rather than a good-natured and funny blogger. Allow me to demonstrate with a graph:


Mo out.

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