Ke$ha $hme$ha

As a musician I have to say I’m disappointed by the way things are going right now in the music world. Bad music is nothing new, but I think we’ve hit a new low, in the form of Ke$ha. Even more alarming than how bad this song is is the fact that a) hello her name is Kedollarsha… who names their kids that? and b) the lyrics are the dumbest thing I’ve heard since “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” or whatever it’s actually called.

Just to prove my point, here are the lyrics to "Tik Tok":

"Wake up in the morning"

PAUSE. Really? You're starting a song with "wake up in the morning?" That's so original. Carry on:

"feeling like P Diddy
[[ay what up girl]]
Grab my glasses
I'm out the door
I'm gonna hit this city
Before I leave
Brush my teeth with a
bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for
the night I aint coming back”

So this girl wakes up in the morning feeling like P Diddy (does that mean kind of high and in jail?) and brushes her teeth with Jack (which makes your breath stink) and then goes out partying for the night. That means she either parties the whole day or wakes up so late that it’s already nighttime (in which case it wouldn’t be the morning). Either way she’s kind of a bum. Next.

“I'm talkin bout
Everybody getting crunk (crunk)
Boys try to touch my junk (junk)
Gonna smack em if they gettin too drunk (drunk)
Not not we go untill they kick us out (out)
The police shut us down (down)
Police shut us down (down)
Po po shut us (DOWN)”

How more generic can you get than “everybody getting crunk?” Crunk was cool the first time it was used because it’s like “wow, you combined crazy and drunk…. I like it” but now it’s a dumb term that rappers use when they can’t think of more original words (brings to mind “let’s get get, crunk!”). Also, I believe she rhymes drunk with crunk, which is kind of like rhyming “superman” with “superduperman.” It’s kind of lame.

I'm not even going to bother with the rest of the song. Don’t get me wrong… I like pop. I dig Kings of Leon, All-American Rejects, and even Natalie Imbruglia (I own a physical copy of her 1997 debut album). But this new stuff being put out is total garbage to be honest. It’s degrading to women, musicians, alcoholics, and other crappy “musical” acts across the country.

Mo out.

And by the way… do the lyrics imply that it’s okay to touch her junk if you’re sober? I think they do ;).

(Mo out for real.)